Power of Mentoring

 

One day, while I was resting after a leaders’ conference, a young minister came to me and asked the secret of being a wonderful minister. My first question was, “Who is your Leader?” Many give me this answer …. Jesus!! “That is good, but is there anyone else?” NOOOO...I have only one leader and that is Jesus. I heard the same answer many times. I started to talk to the young man, who was energetic, passionate, full of dreams, and crazy for Jesus, but he was hurt in many areas. When I was sharing the power of mentoring and being mentored, he was a little bit upset and angry about his leader, because he was not loved or mentored by his leader, who instead was acting like a military general!!

Oh, our generation need fathers not generals…

The Importance of Mentoring .

There is a big debate occurring all over the world related to submission. It is not a small subject;

we can see it from the beginning of the word of God. The first one who rebelled against God is Lucifer and, after the creation of the Garden of Eden, the devil used the same poison to attack man to the extent that he succeeded in that plan, but the ultimate Victory was with God.

He has been injecting the poison of rebellion into the life of people in all generations. Into families, societies, jobs, businesses and governments.

If we look at the world we can see some sort of rebellion everywhere, where he has used the same poison among Christians and leaders.

Mentoring has many areas to cover.

• Discipleship
• Communication
• Correction

• Quality time
• Teaching & training
• Character formation.

Trust, Communication, Respect, Love (the four legs in a relationship chair)

Trust is fragile. It will take time to develop, and once it is broken it is not easy to return to normal again, so it is very important to make sure that trust is maintained. If there are any misunderstandings the best way forward is communication rather than making assumptions. Lack of communication will lead to more complications, so it is better to find a trustworthy person as your mentor. Especially if you are married there may be a need to share personal issues with your mentor and if he/ she / that family is not trustworthy, it will hurt you and later you will not share your problems to others because of bad experiences. So it’s better to find someone you can trust from the beginning.

Communication

This is the second leg of relationship. I will mention this area in more detail later, whereas here we can think about the methods of communication. The easy ways to be in touch with people are via phone or face to face, through email, text message or messenger (last option). Communication is vital in any relationship; here I am talking about communication as a way to show accountability to your mentor. Sometimes you need clarification about something such as a doctrinal issue, so if you share your thoughts and ask for help in such situations your mentor could help you and provide some information to you from their own sources, which will be a blessing to you. So communication is not only to show accountability but is a way to gather information and it will help us to avoid mistakes in our life.

Respect

Respect will take time; it is not easy to get respect from others. Everyone likes to be respected and as a mentor you should have the heart to respect the person coming to you for help. And vice versa.

Love

Love is the most important part in mentoring. As the Bible says, without love there is nothing. Mentoring is an act of love and care. It's like a father son/daughter relationship. People might be broken or feeling rejected. If you feel that something is wrong in your life (eg: being unable to pray for a time period more than normal, being unable to worship, feeling that you’re loosing ground, sin, especially sexual sin, being led into a cult group, a fight with your spouse, broken relationships, things that you are not able to work out or manage to do) don't try to deal with these things on your own but ask for help from your mentor.

In order to be mentored you should have these qualities or you should grow in these areas:

• 
  
  Heart to be a disciple
• Teachable
• Submissive

• Heart to listen

• Willingness to grow
• Openness and honesty
• Willingness to be corrected
• Accountability

I hate correction. I don't want to be corrected. I know what to do. Please leave me alone to do things in my own way. Hmm, please don't try to control me. You know he is jealous of me, and that is why he is trying to control me. I hate to be under a leader..... I have heard hundred of comments like this, especially counselling young leaders. Many of them hate their leaders, especially their church pastors. There should be some reasons for that.

Everyone likes to be independent so these comments are a reflection of people’s independent nature. But the principles for submission are not to control us but to help us grow in Christ.

The best example is Jesus; He was completely submissive to His father's will.

Correction is not controlling, but correction with out love is controlling.

If you are mentor you should make sure that you are using your authority properly. God gave the mentoring authority to help the other person to grow in Christ. Some of the examples in the Bible are between Jesus and His disciples, Paul and Timothy.

What is the importance of mentoring?

It’s all about being covered and an act of submission. The first sin in this world happened because of rebellion. Lucifer rebelled against God. Satan used the same poison to change the mind of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. Later God sent His son Jesus to show the importance of submission in our life as He was completely submissive to His father. He kept on emphasising the truth, “I am doing the will of my father”. Father-son, father-son. Jesus demonstrated his submission to us through his life. He trained the disciples in the same way, teaching them the importance of submission and mentoring. He loved them, corrected them, travelled/ spent quality time with them, rebuked them, protected them, cared for them, but never tried to control their free will and freedom of choice, never tried to manipulate them, but prayed for them, encouraged them and released them. It was an amazing relationship. Perfect mentoring.

I have been mentoring many people in different nations. It is not an easy job, but I know the importance of being mentored (so far I have three mentors to cover me, as well as my pastor).

There will be time of ups and downs in your ministry and family life, challenging situations in your personal life, discouragement, being caught in sin, doing foolish things without your knowledge, pride, lack of accountability, problems in your family life, and doctrinal issues.

Everyone has their problems. When we (Katherine and I) have spent times of ministry with couples we can see that their problems are entirely different from a young, single Christian. In my experience, from person to person, and nation to nation, people’s response towards correction is different. While we were in Cambodia many people were not happy with confrontation. They don't like to be confronted. For some people it's a matter of pride and for some it's a matter of shame. If anybody, whether they like it or not, wants to grow they should be mentored. Freedom doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want. Freedom through Christ means that He has set us free from the law of sin and death.

How can you be accountable/ building accountability?

Communication is the first key for accountability. It doesn't mean that you have to communicate everything, but if you are making some important decision in your life, it would be good to communicate to your mentor/s and let them pray for you. If you are a minister, preacher or an evangelist it would be good to be under a covering. If possible give some sort of idea about your monthly/yearly schedule. They will pray for you. Please try to spend time with them, just to share your experiences from your trips and ups and downs, fun and fears. If you’re single or married it is good to have a married couple as your mentors. If you are mentored by a person it doesn't mean that you have to obey all he/she says. Of course you have the freedom of choice; your mentor is there to encourage and support you not to make decisions for you. There will be times when you have to obey what God is asking you to do. If you feel any control or manipulation from your mentor, you should start to pray for that matter.

One of the major characteristics of a mentor is that he/she should be trustworthy (make sure he/she is not a BBC, broadcasting everything you share to others. Remember that trust is fragile and easy to break).

If you’re a married person it would be great to spend time with your mentor family. It is safer to be mentored as a man by a man and as a woman by a woman unless they are together for mentoring.

If you are married make sure that your mentor/s are acceptable to both of you. Otherwise it will lead to complication and disunity in your family.

Let us have a quick look at the scriptures given at the last portion . The first set of scriptures are pointing to the danger of pride, and the second set is pointing to the importance of submission.

So my dear friend, according to Leonard Ravenhill, the two most difficult words in the vocabulary are the words yes and no, and to know where and when to use them. What you say yes to and what you say no to is going to have a vital bearing on what your ultimate role will be in life. Your decisions are very important whether the answer is yes or no, and that is why I would like to encourage you to have mentors in your life since it will help you in your character formation, So if you have a mentor praise God; you can pray to God to use them more powerfully to minister into your life. Otherwise pray to God to get an amazing mentor family to minister into your life.

I have three mentoring families together with my church pastor to cover me and my ministry and it is such a blessing to have them in my life. I have been blessed by them. I am thankful to God.

I would like to hear from you.

God bless you

Ps Blessan

For reference ( KJV)

James 4:6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 1 Pet 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

It is very clear how much God is against the proud; ungodly pride is always connected to rebellion.

How can we overcome this situation? How can we be humble? Will speaking in tongues and the gifts of the Holy Spirit help us to be humble? Usually the gifts of the Holy Spirit without character will make you proud and it is more dangerous than not having the spiritual gifts.

Matth 10:24 A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his lord.(importance of submission)Matth 13:36 Then he left the multitudes, and went into the house: and his disciples came unto him, saying, Explain unto us the parable of the tares of the field.(quality time)

Matth 14:19 And he commanded the multitudes to sit down on the grass; and he took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake and gave the loaves to the disciples, and the disciples to the multitudes.(communication and obedience)

Matth 21:6 And the disciples went, and did even as Jesus appointed them (obedience and submission)Matth 26:26 And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed, and brake it; and he gave to the disciples, and said, Take, eat; this is my body. (quality time and fellowship)

Matth 28:19 Go ye therefore, and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit: Mark 8:33 But he turning about, and seeing his disciples, rebuked Peter, and saith, Get thee behind me, Satan; for thou savoureth not the things of God, but the things of men. (rebuke, correction) Mark 8:34 And he called unto him the multitude with his disciples, and said unto them, If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. (self denial )

Submission

Hebre 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit [to them]: for they watch in behalf of your souls, as they that shall give account; that they may do this with joy, and not with grief: for this [were] unprofitable for you. Roman 10:3 For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God. 1 Cor 16:16  That ye submit yourselves unto such, and to every one that helpeth with us, and laboureth. Ephes 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Ephes 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Colos 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Hebre 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you. James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 1 Pet 2:13 Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; 1 Pet 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.